If You’ve Done Over Half These Things, You’re A Legit Traveler

… Because Buzzfeed doesn’t have a clue. My inspiration for this piece: an article claiming that your status as a “real” traveler comes down to whether you’ve missed a few flights or not. Ha! What is a real traveler, anyway?

Are you a “legit” traveler? Or do you spend more time Pinteresting your next destination rather than planning it for real? Can you boast of having tried a dozen weird foods in weirder locales? Let’s find out. How many of the following are true for you?

You’re a legit traveler if you’ve:

• Had gastrointestinal distress in Central or South America. NTAF, guys (never trust a fart).
• Waited in a security line for over an hour
• Have had a harrowing border experience
• Used the “point and hope” method when ordering food
• You’re not sure whether someone asked you for money or assaulted you
• Accidentally use words from three different languages while ordering breakfast because you haven’t had your tea yet
• Know when bribing an official is mandatory and when it’s definitely not something you’d ever do, sir (nope, nope)
• Can list at least three whacky types of transportation you’ve used (tuk-tuk, chicken bus, camel)
• Some of the best adventures of your day were totally unplanned
• Have learned the cultural differences between what qualifies as pizza
• Appreciate a warm shower as a luxury
• Have ever woken up and been unable to remember which country you’re in
• Your shoes are crusted with cross-continental crap from the last two years
• Been in an airplane that rattled so much, you weren’t sure you’d survive
• Crapped in a jungle or on a sacred tree (oops) somewhere
• Made friends in every country you’ve visited
• Know how to say, “No, THANKS” politely but firmly in at least three languages
• Packing in a carry on is your go to, if you can.
• Have accidentally eaten something you’d never eat intentionally (jellyfish and dog, anyone?)
• Know which borders are easy to cross and have a favorite/least favorite
• Have missed a flight and cashed in on the vouchers to take yet another trip
• Sometimes can’t remember where you’re actually from, when asked
• Love “rental families” that have adopted you around the world
• Cry when you have to get rid of your shoes, because you’ve done so much together
• Are super cool with any form of transportation, because you had to ride a tuk-tuk with 5+ people in it once
• See another person wearing Keens and get really excited
• Visited a hospital in another country at least once… not for fun
• Get really confused when someone asks you which country is your favorite
• Have “quick-dry” underwear because the travel clothing industry is odd. See point 1.

And most of all… you know that no bucket list could ever determine whether or not you’re a REAL traveler. Spoiler: If you’ve traveled, you’re a real traveler. Congrats!

I know you people have stories. What can you add to my list? What experience makes you a “real” traveler?